Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Enjoy the penises
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
