It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
