We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
