Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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