Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
