I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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