yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
