Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
