good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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