And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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