im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
