I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
