i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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