Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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