my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
