When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
