plz talk dirty to me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
