I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
