I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
