Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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