Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think people are normalizing furries
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
