I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Randomize
