Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we made out on top of his cat.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
