naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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