You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
