I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
