I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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