i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
