What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
