yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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