Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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