Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
