Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
