i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Text me some of your sweat
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
