u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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