hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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