This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
