He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
