I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
