if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
thus making me awesome and them whores
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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