I think i peed on brittanys purse
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
