When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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