and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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