matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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