stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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