Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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