nut hugger
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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