these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
