beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
