Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
