just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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