Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
