VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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